Letters from Mongo...

2002-04-17T10:47:00.000-04:00

Unmasking unmasking unmasking... this is the craft of adversarial politics. The Bush demonstrates to his reticent countrymen that the foes are not to be believed, trusted or succored. The war is therefore won to the direct proportion that this sentiment can be nurtured. There is nothing quite so awe-striking as an enraged nation, especially one justly enraged. Oh, to be at the head of such a wave! The gleaming weapons, the piercing eyes, the thunderous acclaimations... ah, these pleasures of Power I see do still accrue under the mobocracy, perhaps with even greater savour. The Bush must delight, as any with the Will to Power would and should. Remember though, when all seem focused on a single point the wary leader still scans the blank horizon. Failure to do so gives the usurper a commodius entry. Ming the Usurper. I would eschew it not.

2002-04-16T16:31:00.000-04:00

A lesson learned late is superior than a lesson learned never. I see that reality does ultimately intrude even into the smoke and mirrors wilderness of your mobocracy. Ever is it in the ways of war or peace... unmasking is the sum of all. We unmask ourselves, we peep under the mask of our adversary and most importantly, we yank the mask away for others to gawk, awstruck, at the gruesome contenance those with the Will to Power always possess. And Ming? Of course dear reader, Ming is the worst of a bad bunch but I worry not that this admission will gain Mud any advantage should I cast more than a glance at your planet. Men, like all the races I have encountered, have dreadful memories over all. A Ruler, however, never forgets.

2002-04-09T16:18:00.000-04:00

The vagueries of "democracy" intrude into affairs of state. Which shall yield? Need one ask? The Bush is to be pitied for there is no more irksome labor for one with the Will to Power than the necessity to assuage allies with soothing platitudes. On Mud, at least in this America, it seems the leader must constantly (constantly!) maintain as allies fully half of the population. As a veteran of lugubrious negotiations with the Zaygons, the Slime-folk of Petulari, The Alcoan Trade League and countless others I can attest that such chores are weighty enough. At least I could ultimately retire to my palaces, flay a flunky or two and await in comfort the time for the adept betrayal. The Bush has no such recourse. He must speak in a multitude of toungues, maintaining the requisite fictions, assuaging or inflaming rage, stroking or undermining egos... PERPETUALLY! And all the while these... writers pursue him harping constantly that he violates consistency. How rude. How foolish. How unnecessary. If only he would grasp the reins firmly and tell his lies with the vigor they require. Have I contradicted myself? Well, the record will be repaired. The memories will be... corrected and we shall continue on under my... ooh, I have run away with myself a bit. Ming is ever quick to rise to the moment and such a faculty is not for all men, I must remember. Well, I shall watch these developments with interest and perhaps to my own benefit. For if The Bush can keep his ship of state fueled on fictions (as they all are) in such an inhospitable environment, I may gain an insight or two. In any event, war is joined and that makes your precious planet Dirt unignorable.

2002-03-28T16:25:00.000-05:00

I have closely watched this creature, Arafat, and oh, what a study he is! What observer of events, recent and otherwise, could be surprised that now, at the conclusion of a blinding stroke, he purrs with talk of peace. A close study of this man is absolutely essential, I have found, to explain this paradox of the strong subjugated by the weak. As I understand, these Israelis are far beyond their enemies in military wares and skills, yet through the crafty manipulation of intriguers, egos and this braying media of yours, Arafat is able to muddy the waters enough to forestall a killing blow. I applaud the audacity but wonder at the final effect. After all, how long can the heads of state in Israel or the mighty United States ignore the obvious; that these attacks are as much at the behest of Arafat as those on Afghanistan are at the behest of Bush. So what that he periodically declaims their authorship? What is talk, compared to action? Now, no doubt there are loose cannons and the over-eager who may not adhere strictly to the Arafat schedule of events but that is of no matter so long as they are loyal, vicious and numerous. They have proven themselves to be all three. The most Arafat can manage, at this point, is to claim that the affairs of state are bound up into an irremediable scrum of competition and cooperation on which he only precariously sits. True, true that may be and it is as true of all leaders, tyrannical or otherwise, but if truly the fog obscures Arafat from confronting these "terrorists" (a marvelous coinage!) then what can he assert his own value to be? Is he not then, just another obscuring vapor to be fanned away? Such are the mind-plagueing doubts of one who aspires to the Will to Power. What sympathies I command, do settle on his shoulders, poor chap. If by some miracle of trickery this fellow still sits his throne when (or if) Ming decides to afflict your sphere, he will have proven himself the superior, at least, to your "elected" betters and may serve yet as a local ally to Ming. But this would surprise me. As events are unfolding only the most obstinate thicket of idiots could persist in this malicious blather about "peace" when war is already so bloodily joined.

2002-03-22T15:59:00.000-05:00

Throughout the career of one with the Will to Power there is a delicious moment that, if one is fortunate and shrewd, will replay itself again and again. I like to call it, Showing the Dagger. A dagger is almost never involved, of course, but it describes the instant where one abandons a feigned amiability, bares ones canines and utters the blistering ultimatum that always must underly the affairs of state. "Ming will war on you." is a most unwelcome answer to an impolitic question when the fellow on the receiving end is out of his depth. A delicious moment it is and I suspect that this functionary of your world's most powerful state has waited many years for so ripe an opportunity. Finally, the curtain is torn. Now, do not think that Ming eschews flattery and good humour with my fellow tyrants. Indeed, it is the only opportunity a leader may have for conversation with anyone who will dare venture their own opinion. But of course, this is an incidental indulgence sublimated to the Greater Glory of Mongo... which is to say, the greater wealth and power of my noble self. And what a catharsis it is! Oh, I envy this Cheney on such a day! How the intriguers grin must have melted from the poor Prince's face! I sometimes long to hear the discharge of your primitive weapons and the battle cries of your many peoples. I suspect it would be far more soulful than the indiscriminate minstrations of the Anihilizer or the implaccable anguish of the Ming's Breath Plague. Forfend the day that such engines rob your martial exploits of their valorous color.

2002-03-21T15:47:00.000-05:00

I see that this democracy of yours does not obviate the necessity to strike all favorable memory of one's predecessor from the public conciousnsess. In fact, I can see that it might make it ever more vital. Of course, useful policies should be continued and Ming is a big believer in Law and Order (my Law under my Orders) so these policies of long incarceration for those who arm themselves against The State are quite resonable. Also reasonable though is this obliteration of the father of these notions, as he is no longer at the Seat of Power. Again Ming sees the timeless shape and color of court intrigue burbling through your oh-so-superior system... and Ming laughs. If ever your sphere of Dirt is honored by a more intimate knowledge of Ming there will be much razing of signage and throwing down of trophies. Long will the fires burn! I see that this land of Virgina (sounds delightfully populated) is often the locale of incidents that pique the Royal imagination. Also this West Virgina. I understand almost its entirety is scrupulously named for its most powerful son; a fellow of unbounded Will to Power by the name of Byrd. Now that is magestic! Perhaps Ming will find suitable allies in humanity after all.

2002-03-13T14:34:00.000-05:00

Ming must admit of beffuddlement at these events. From what I can gather, the situation of the present is the product of wars fought some years ago wherein these Israelis were attacked, repelled said attacks with a fulsome victory and then... negotiated? This is an astonishment and I admit it has taken much study for me to grasp this notion. For some time, I wondered if "war" as a concept were fundamentally different on Mud than on Mongo. But no, destruction is destruction; greater technology only alters the pace. So whomever the Israeli leader is, and it seems the perversions of mobocracy have changed the helmsman's post frequently during these troubles, he is utterly failing in the First Obligation of the State; survival. How the Israeli subjects have not deposed this leader or leaders, crushed them under their heels and then exploded from the Stables of Mars (heh, I love Latin) with every engine of war at their disposal is a mystery, though perhaps one soon to be resolved. Now, I do see that The Bush has his own reasons of state to calm this supposed ally to maintain for a time some crucial fictions and perhaps the Israelis see The Bush and his nation of warrior-shopkeepers as their ultimate foundation, but how true must one be to such a foundation when it slips and shudders and promises to cast one's nation to the savage winds at the first profitable opportunity? All creatures of whatever planet will fight like deamons to ensure their own survival. Ming has profited from this wisdom many times and also from its corrollary; that the realization that national survival is at risk, is the most unpallatable of truths and will be resisted by all who treasure comfort above rigor. Thus do the comforts of Power accrue to Ming. To whom these comforts accrue on Dirt, is yet uncertain.

2002-03-13T13:50:00.000-05:00

Were such a missive to come from the mouth of a tyrant, I would immediately take position to salvage his shattered kingdom. The fecklessness and cowardice these bizarre pronouncements demonstrate would deservedly precipitate revolt and impalement for one with the Will to Power and an office to match, but what is the consequence in your mobocracy? So far, there has been near none. Certainly some amusing carping has been in evidence... a strange phenomenon to me but apparently of no great weight on the planet Dirt. This seems another of those paradoxical enticements for Ming towards a system more like your own. When an underling of Ming speaks, he speaks with the Voice of Ming and is as rightly feared and obeyed. If he misspeaks, well, his tounge lingers not long in his head nor his head on his shoulders. But... to one less infallible than Mingself, there is perhaps a virtue in these semi-autonomous cretins venting their own pathetic notions. That is, their plausible distance from the Seat of Power so that they may be, if necessary, ignored or dissavowed. Personally, such a dissavowal would seem to carry more weight punctuated by the sweet hum of laser rifles, but perhaps the quiet rubbishing of this functionary will suffice and leave him in place, weakened, like a sacrificial zognee in a stall. Again I declare a fascination for the court intriguers on your sphere. What a delicate dance these marvels affect! Is it the more graceful if they dance WITHOUT a weapon pointed at their bowels? Or less so? Hmmm.

2002-03-07T15:06:00.000-05:00

And why, pray tell, would the ruler want his kingdom to survive his incineration? Foolishness.

2002-03-07T14:30:00.000-05:00

This chap is quite an interesting study as regards your politics, your arts and letters and most quaintly, your relations between races. His is a voluminous trail of the most delicious deceits, chicanery and double dealing yet, were I on your planet Dirt and enamored of some high post, I don't think I could make much of such an ally. True, he has a Will to Power of an intensity that places him among the most voracious of political raptors, but what has come of it? This phenomenon of "expose'" is truly baffling. The entertainment value Ming can well understand... the envy of the powerless for the powerful knows no bounds (nor, rationally, should it) but can such a recitation of truths already so well known truly bring down a powerful lord of the Ruling Class? Astonishing, is your lumbering throng in it's petulance and childishness. It is as if great numbers of this fellow's constituency believed him to be acting in THEIR best interests to the subordination of his own. Has such a thing ever happend in all the galaxy's history? I have lived long and have seen it not. I shall live longer yet and do not expect such an event. That this Jack's Son should have based his holdings and power on such a veil is great tribute to his abilities yet again, Ming finds in him no appealling ally. Why? There is an allusion from your media that might illuminate; "Don't get high on your own supply." was a wise admonition to a youngish "Scarface". Jack's Son would have done well to view this play and heed its warnings. Jack's Son allowed his thirst for luxury and all its adherence to subvert his thirst for Power. This is the almost inevitable failing of the princeling sons to kings. They know not that luxury is based on Power, so esteem luxury for it's own sake and disdain the oft' filthy demands of the Power from which their riches flow. Though Jack's Son appears to have built his Empire in his own right, he has fallen into this trap. His desire for cushioned appointments and courtesans blunted his instincts. Especially in your demo-media-ocracy, this is fatal. For who can fear a man who would weep if denied his sweets? Ah, what a pity for it all hinges on one truism forgotten; Power is its own reward. Power is the sweetest of sweetmeats, the most splendid of raiments. Power, for those who have the Will to Power, is food and drink. Power is love. Power is air. Power is all and its absence is the bleakest vacuum. Better to wear rags and command utter obedience than to live in the greatest splendor but in contempt from those who dare call themselves your superiors. Oh, the gall he tastes. Perhaps it is not too late for him. Perhaps again he will find his grounding and return to the heights of Power and there, yes; the larder is full, the palaces grand and the lackeys as numerous as they are obsequious, but only once he remembers that Power is Life, to such creatures as us. And just who is this... Sharp Ton?

2002-02-25T10:02:00.000-05:00

One trap that the wise despot must avoid is any attempt to fund the state through sumptuary taxes. One may add a ha'-credit or two to the price of a snifter or smoke but nothing will excercise the populace quite so much as too great a toll on their chosen vices. This is perhaps the most frequent downfall of the "reforming" ruler. What greater fool could one find than a soul, with the Will to Power, attaining that position and then throwing it all away in some vain attempt to build a better race from his raw materials. Such impulses are far better indulged to increase the martial virtues of loyal subjects. Try to spare the mob from self-inflicted misery and it will turn it's surly teeth upon you! Let them smoke; let them drink. When their life is peppered with smallish pleasures they will see you as a wise and beneficient overlord. Then, when your enemies disrupt the trade, well, the ire of the people will fall where it is most useful.

2002-02-25T09:53:00.000-05:00

One problem I do see with this pacific form of succession you call "elections" is that the deposed ruler is still up and about and can draw the attentions of subject people. Well, as we know of the Will to Power, there is nothing more obnoxious to it than losing out. It adles the workings of a mind sculpted so carefully to rule if that mind is still in a head attached to a neck. I'm sure your current ruler could do without the petulant blatherings of a predecessor whose only interest, of course, is to demonstrate to the simple throngs how much better his own tenure was than the present one. Perhaps, if coups are considered too sanquinary, the excision of tongue and vocal chords could be humanely practised.

2002-02-21T10:22:00.000-05:00

As often happens, the princeling is born without the fire of his bloodline. I see elections are apt to bring this sad fact to the fore nearly as often as battle. Oh, as rich are the victories, so galling are the defeats.

2002-02-21T09:58:00.000-05:00

Ah, the delicacies of public deception. I'm beginning to change my opinions of this "free press" notion. Really, it is just another fog to be manipulated by mirror, is it not? Of course this fellow is speaking the direst secrets of these... Democratians, and he yet lives while on Mongo or anywhere within my reach he should have been vaporized from a safe distance before his seditious thoughts had even formed. Still though, the Democratians hold their power... the mob does not engulf them in outrage. Wonderful! It seems that an iron boot is not always necessary. Could it perhaps even be sometimes counterproductive? My study of this great strategic deception called "reform" is bearing more fruit than any other interest of mine in many a year. Ming does love the instant obedience that command of ten-thousand electro-lancers encourages but perhaps life for a man with a will to power is not so bleak in this "democracy" of yours as I had thought. To test oneself in these grand charades you call "elections", chanelling gently the meager will of the mob; this could be a greater challenge than raining destruction down on the heads of one's foes. But... I am already prepared fot the latter. Maybe someday.

2002-02-19T09:32:00.000-05:00

It is good to see that all the blather-on about "democracy" and such is, as I suspected, a mere cloak on the old palace intrigues. Again on this vain claptrap of removing wealth from affairs of state it is plain that the Seven Modalities of Politics (from the Sixth Codex of Ming the Terrible, Bleak and Puffy) Pride, Rage, Lust, Gluttony, Avarice, Envy and Inertia are yet at work, spinning their webs regardless of the high-toned documents you so pride yourselves upon. It is good that the state is now abandoning these relics and returning to the very root of governance... Raw Power. Ahhh, that locution does trip agreeably, does it not? Now that your leaders have definitively barred the subjects from all this squawking around "election" time these ceremonies can come more completely under the heel of the Ruler. Yes, bend your puny wills to the Iron Gauntlet and soon you will not care who wears it. Some charming outworlder, perhaps? Hmmmm.

2002-02-18T17:20:00.000-05:00

This fellow seems to be a sound man of public affairs. Indeed, the statesman that eschews the business of merchants will be weaker and poorer than need be. Rather, as this worthy earther demonstrates, one who aspires to power should use ever toehold he might find... and every credit is worth grasping. If only he weren't so easily outed. It was the outrage, I think, that he should shout accusations when so muddied himself. A bit of self-restraint, some deft use of the cat's paw in court would have avoided this public humiliation. Ah well, he is a young man as humans reckon things and the will to power will not be denied. I predict great things for this whisperer and intruguer. Indeed, he may yet draw Ming's favor.

2002-02-18T17:02:00.000-05:00

This is why republics or democracies or other fantastic forms of rule make nations of such easy trimmings. The problem always is that they are so wealthy. While this makes them ripe targets for conquest, and the congenital weakening they suffer makes them appear as luscious, low-hanging fruit, the blow must be a decisive and paralyzing one. Once roused these subjects with a taste for affairs of state will turn what remains of their power resolutely against the outsider so they must be smitten... boldly, powerfully, and suddenly. From what I understand of the late events, these "attacks" are scarcely worthy of the name. Some couple thousands of merchants, slain at their kiosks? What sort of blow is this? The martial forces of the state are untouched and one has only incited the naturally indolent with fear of instant death. Hmmm. I would seek no alliance with these foolish folk. Any designs Ming might harbor on your sphere of mud will of necessity be put off until the bloated voters are again quiescent. Should not take more than thrity or so orbits.

2002-02-18T15:59:00.000-05:00

Ah, what delights, what delights! The only thing more agreeable to the heart of Ming than the sounds of terrible battle is the glorious gabble of victors in dissarray. How often I have attacked from seeming defeat and exploited such a situation I can hardly guess. I know not the races involved but it matters little. If the Afghans are so different from the Arborians one can not say from the news. All is sqabble, charge and counter charge and this is the great fecund soil in which a tyrant can root! Oh, if only there were wealth to make the trip worthwhile I could be Lord of Afghania in a trice. One need only offer certainty amidst confusion to capture a crown. Do these creatures make pliable slaves?

2002-02-14T16:24:00.000-05:00

Ah, deception it is! This fellow needs a taste of the quasar-knout!

2002-02-14T15:54:00.000-05:00

Ming looks with interest on the efforts to wrest lucre from the system of governence on your muddy planet. As any fool knows, wealth is the source of all power and power an excellent source of wealth. No one who has made their careers in court would seriously suggest such a thing is possible which leaves us with the conclusion that it is one towering deception... a feint to distract the unwary. This is audacity that I can perhaps emulate. So few of my subjects trust me but I suspect they trust their local overlords even less. What if I were to attack my subordinates publicly for taking bribes, emolluments and favors, as we all know they do? It will be a selective process, only those who have the temerity to harbor some independent ambitions will be targeted. Oh, what joy it would bring to the surly mob to see one or two of their enemies in the magno-stocks. My study of the planet, Dirt, is paying off already.

2002-02-14T14:55:00.000-05:00

What? If this is true it is one ham-handed exercise in stupidity. When Ming bribes his subjects it is to some end that furthers the power of the state. (C'est moi, natch.) The logic behind this is inpenetrable.

2002-02-14T14:39:00.000-05:00

In a lighter vein, Ming enjoys very much some of the entertainments from your planet. Anyone out there who is a Sega enthusiast, HK bootlegger, phreaker or low-tech... you are right up my alley. Dreamcast Underground as a phenomenon is something I like to keep tabs on. The Saturn also was a techno triumph. I still get lots of use from mine. Best fifty bucks I ever spent on electronics.

2002-02-14T14:24:00.000-05:00

Looks like most of the 'blogs begin with some credentializing. Think I'll skip that. In a thousand years who will know or care? In a thousand seconds? Suffice it to say, I should be working. Shhh.

2002-02-14T14:22:00.000-05:00

I can see this thing could really eat a day. What an age of marvels we inhabit. Well, now that I've got my alter ego up and running, just what is the story with Ming? Originally I was trying to convey an ironic tone. As some of my fellow posters observed pretty quickly thoguh, Ming is far from Mirthless. Also, I thought that was what they were saying on the old Flash Gordon serial rather than "Ming the Merciless". But my version is better, I think, and not least of all because it should side-step some intellectual property concerns, though these are quaint anachronisms in this day and age.

2002-02-14T14:17:00.001-05:00

Yes. Excellent.

2002-02-14T14:17:00.000-05:00

Did I get my real name out and my catchy handle in?

2002-02-14T14:12:00.000-05:00

SOMEthing crashed the browser on me. Must be my magnetic field... plays havoc with your puny technology.

2002-02-14T14:03:00.000-05:00

Seems like I bolixed this thing already and mysteriously created two parallel accounts. I'll delete the first one since it held only this.
[2/14/2002 9:59:54 AM | Ken Watson]
Ming the Mirthless Speaks!
Okay, I admit to being a more or less ordinary human, though not infrequently I do feel as if I've taken an unscheduled detour to an alien planet. Know what I mean? The handle is one I used many moons ago on one of those political chatrooms that have become such inhospitable places to folks familiar with grammar, punctuation and reality. My perspective, though I eschew (and encourage you too) labels of left and right, is for the most part conservative. Well, anarchic at heart. I always thought I would do relatively well in a MadMax type environment. I'll be doing what many of the folks here do; memorializing my daily news consumption and the consternation it produces. If there proves to be anyone (NOT batty) out there, I'll be surprised.

2002-02-14T13:55:00.000-05:00

In that vein we turn our attentions to the demented simpleton known to readers of AmSpec and other worthy publications as... Algore Now, that is an incendiary assertion, I am well aware. But such not-so-bon mots were gratuitously layed on the head of Bush the Younger before the guy ever opened his mouth in public and we won't even discuss the drubbing the hapless Dan Quayle took for, what exactly? Mmm. Spelled potato... "potatoe". Okay, obviously this guy has a recessive gene, right? Well, Algore is even more lacking in sense, in my book, because this cat just can't put a clamp on that hole under his nose and the reason is a dreadfully common affliction, a sort of myopia that prevents one from seeing how ridiculous he appears. Oh well. It is terminal and congenital, apparently.

2002-02-14T13:48:00.000-05:00

Okydoke, that seemed to work. While on the subject of AmSpec, as I mentioned, often larded with insults; I have to ask... Just what is wrong with insult in public discourse anyway? The mini flap about O'Neill vs Byrd in a playground slapdown begs the question especially. I mean, who could converse with the oleaginous Byrd WITHOUT resorting to insult. A more deserving object would be difficult to concoct in fiction. Especially as this elder statesman is so fond of quoting classical types in an effort to demonstrate his own erudition. Well, any fan of Cicero and that ilk has got to know that insults, accusations, motive-questioning and mockery were part and parcel of public argot in those golden ages. Are we above it? Well, not me. Ming will endeavor to call a spade a spade and a chump a chump.

2002-02-14T13:15:00.000-05:00

Hmm. Let's twy the wed button

2002-02-14T13:11:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty ignorant of the ins and outs of web... anything, so until I figure out how to post links I'll just put some notables right here. Foremost has got to be http://theamericanprowler.org/ For those familiar with the old American Spectator, this is the ghost of that noble vessel of sarcasm, insight and insult.